A Residency in Motherhood

Yesterday marked the last day of my self-directed residency. It was a busy day of appointments and errands. I appreciate Lenka Clayton and all of the other participants. I am enthusiastic about participating again but with my due date being any day now, I am not going to extend this residency.

I still feel as if rearranging the house was a missing link but am uncertain if its because aesthetics are important in our living spaces or if its a Feng Shui thing. Or if its that my objects, for the most part having been acquired on various curbs and through friend's downsizing/moving never felt like mine?

Initially my projects didn't seem that ambitious when I was outlining them (Kon-Mari the house, acquire furniture that is better suited to our needs, decorate the house with art and plants and then resuscitate long dormant art projects and complete them) but I forgot the natural consequence of being a parent. Uninterrupted time is non-existent for myself right now and the little time I did carve out went mostly to yoga. I was never really drawn to yoga but my body has started making decisions for me like...not moving if I don't stretch. I have tried to arrange some things with other parents where we could trade child care for creative time instead of paying babysitters but so far nothing has materialized. It took six weeks on its own just to partially complete the first 3 tasks. Thank you Buy Nothing Olympia East and generous friends and family who shopped from our registry for allowing us to have a real bed, bookshelf and supportive objects for the upcoming babe.

I have thought more about art in this last six weeks than I have all year. One thing I kept thinking was about this article on attachment. It made me wonder how many of us artists are such because we are working through some dysfunction of our initial parental bond? The point is made that sometimes our strengths actually come from our shortcomings. Perhaps I can learn how to turn this lack of uninterrupted time into some sort of superpower?

water studies 2

Article on Parenting in the Creative Community:

Temporary Art Review: Who Cares for Whom? Parenting in the Creative Community is an article I came across last night but am just getting to read now. During my residency, I've been thinking about many of the issues and questions this addresses.


It recommends going public as a parent which I think is a wonderful idea. I know that readership of my blog went down when I started posting images of my family instead of whatever creative work I had been able to put together that day. I understand - the audience is not necessarily the same and I became far less prolific. I don't necessarily find every artist who makes work I like personally interesting - so I am not offended.

From what I know about psychology, it is ridiculously unhealthy to compartmentalize everything. Defining oneself in the scope of a single pursuit seems to come more naturally to others, while I have always hoped I wouldn't earn the label "jill of all trades, master of none". We all have many roles in our life but not all of them are comfortable to explore or express.  Furthermore, contemporary culture follows the dictates of the market, saying it is better to be turning ourselves into a brand that stands for one thing so we can "truly stand out". How can this not be a massive problem psychologically for us as individuals and for our society as a whole?

Once at a workshop for artists to help them think more like an entrepreneur, I was told I had to pick one medium. I couldn't possibly get anywhere painting, taking photographs and drawing. It occurred to me then that western society has become about aping corporate culture, and I don't want to participate in that. Of course, I am not a successful artist but I also don't have to think about business cards, "my brand" or any of that other nonsense. For the 10 years, I did cover those subjects and regularly exhibited my work I'm certain I put way more money in than I ever got out. At the time, I was doing it for the potential review or nod from esteemed gallery owners that might help me transition to the next tier of artistry but the entire time I could feel the poisoning effects of money.

I love making art. I love looking at art. Good design is like an eye massage and no one can take that away from me.

staircase

Guest Photographer: Ambrose Williams

water studies: 1

Having moved from Joshua Tree to the PNW, it still mesmerizes me how much water there is. Standing puddles become a meditation point at bus stops and visits to the shore find me looking into the water more than at fauna.

ice cream

sights of summer